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The TEF VATER INTERNATIONAL SUPPORT GROUP was
started in 1990 after the birth of our daughter who was born with
esophageal atresia. Because there were no support groups for this
birth defect in the United States or any where else that we could
find we decided that we would start one and offer information
on what we experienced with our daughter in the hospital such
as going into the operating room, being in the waiting room, the
recovery rom, the neonatal intensive care unit and the daily care
by the nurses, the social workers, chaplins and ever mouting teams
of doctors, residents doctors in training, laboratory technicians
or what we all call them (blood sucking VAMPIRES)
Her problems with the naso gastric tube suctioning,
gastrostomy feedings, esophagostomy problems, different catheter
problems, feeding problems such as bolus feedings, eating by mouth
and stomach, stoma site infections and granulations, reflux problems,
facial palsy, growth and weight problems, walking, and many other
problems. We felt we could share alot with other parents about
our experience and the many ups and downs of having a child with
esophageal atresia.
We soon found that babies like our daughter
were also born with esophageal atresia and tracheoesophageal fistula.
This is two birth defects. This is where the esophagus the hollow
food pipe that you swallow with attaches to the trachea which
is the wind pipe or breathing tube. When the esophagus attaches
to the trachea food and saliva may end up in the lungs instead
of the stomach and cause many other problems if not corrected
as well as death. After a couple of months we were contacted by
a grandmother who had a granddaughtrer who was born with esophageal
atresia and tracheoesophageal fistula and group of other birth
defects that was coined the VATER ASSOCIATION that included the
esophagus and trachea.. This was the first time we had heard about
the name VATER.
I Greg am a Physicians assistant and ran an
emergency room as well as worked in general surgery and orthopaedic
surgery for 10 years. During this time I was never exposed to
babies born with these types of birth defects. What I knew about
birth defects was that my father was born a palsy baby which is
upon delivery they used forceps to pull him out of the birth canal
and damaged the nerve in his right arm. He never had the use of
his right arm because it was crippled. All 5 of his fingers were
contracted in a fist, his wrist was locked and his arm from the
elbow and shoulder were bent at a 60 degree angle and hung at
his side. I have had much experience in the hospital with asthma,
bronchitis,pneumonia, blood clots, oxygen tent and many other
problems.. I spent years in the hospital as a patient so I can
relate to many of the problems our parents and kids go through
and know how frightening it is for parents to see their babies
struggle to live. As a child you never forget the look on your
parents face and in their eyes when they are so helpless and when
they have to leave you.
We did not have a particular name for the support
group at the time. I wanted to use the word EAT for two reasons;
one because that was one of our goals for our children to eat
by mouth and second to use EAT which stood for the esophageal
atresia team in our name because thats what we felt we were, a
team of parents sharing our knowledge and information about what
we had been through and were going through with our baby, other
kids, spouses and families, along with the everyday ups and downs
of life. We also wanted to include the words chew and swallow
because after we got our kids to eat by mouth this was the next
step to chew the food, then swallow it and wait and see what happened.
But this name did not include many of the other birth defects
and problems that kids were born with and the problems that our
others members had shared with us in the short time that we had
become a little unknown support group.
We soon found out that there were more babies
born with a tracheo-esophageal fistula with esophageal atresia
and multiple birth defects then were born with esophageal atresia
alone. We came up with using the name or acronym EASTER to stand
for Esophageal Atresia Support and or Society Tracheo-Esophageal
fistula Research Registry or using EASTER by itself instead of
VATER because all of the letters in EASTER included all the birth
defects in VATER plus the extra E that could be used for eye and
ear defects.I still like the name EASTER babies.
We decided to use the first letters in each word
of tracheo-esophageal-fistula to give us the name TEF and then
the other birth defects that were more common than esophageal
atresia the group of birth defects coined VATER. This is how we
came up with the name TEF-VATER..
What we offer is long term support to parents
and families, information about the different birth defects, the
operations to correct them, the problems before and after surgery,
coping skills while you are on the roller coaster, the many problems
before and after you bring your child home, a sense of humor to
let you know that you are not alone and you are not the only one
to feel what you feel and to give you some breathing room to cry,
vent your frustrations about your life and your babies situation,
the pain and anguish that you see when they are hooked up to all
the tubing and machines and to laugh about your life, and smile
about your situatuion after you pick yourself up off the floor
to face another day. To be there for you when you need us 24 hours
a day and let you know that you are not alone with your thoughts,
feelings and emotions. We want to let you know WE CARE about YOU
and your family and your marriage.
We don't have answers to many of our kids problems
but we have felt the same pain and anguish. We know and understand
how frightening it is to see your child confined to bed with problems
that you had no idea that existed. We know the lonliness and grief
that comes with having a baby with a birth defect.
The grief and emotions that one day you feel
like you have gotton over the hurdle to wake up in the middle
of the night or are at home or in the car and wonder to yourself
is this really happening to me or is it a make believe scene.
We have the first hand knowledge of the strain this puts on the
relationship between husbands and wives and how one spouse may
not be involved in the care of the child as much as the other.
We understand that men and women are made up differently especially
when it comes to emotions.
We know what it can do to a marriage and to
other members of a family because if other children are involved
they feel they are being left out and that how come mom and dad
are always with the new baby. How can parents divide their time
between what was a normal life before a new baby came into their
lives and now trying to juggle being a husband trying to work
and hold down a job with emotions somewhere else, a wife trying
to be a mom to her other children, a wife to her husband caring
for herself and caring for a house and now the unexpected life
of being torn by family and the need to be at the hospital to
care for a sick child.
You will be amazed at what you will do and you
may not be sure how you did it but it all does become manageable
with help from each other and family and extended family.We want
to help if you need it, we listen well and most of all we want
you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
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